Some nights we lie awake with the stars
As some of you may know from following my posts, I’ve been in a dark place lately. I won’t say I fell into one, because life is a rollercoaster filled with ups and downs. Each phase is only momentary and the wheel keeps spinning. Where am I going with this? Well, I recently wrote a poem called Never Alone. I usually don’t discuss the meaning of my poems or what inspired me to write them, but I wanted to this time.
If you haven’t read this piece the title speaks for itself. One of the lines reads “In darkness I may tread, but never alone”. I want to talk about it because the inspiration behind it is so different that what you may think. It’s not about anything or anyone. In fact, I wrote this piece I was feeling the exact opposite of the way I described. I was alone just thinking about my life when I realized, I was tired of being depressed. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself. I was tired of writing dumb rants about black holes and ghosts. I have nothing against dark pieces, (sometimes you need to release those feelings), but Lawd knows ive written my share.
So after this realization, I decided to muster up a little positivity. I barely thought before my pencil hit the paper and I began to imagine myself (or anyone else really) in a better place. It was entirely unrealistic, but I can honestly say after I wrote it I felt better. It didn’t fix anything, but it brought a little light to the darkness, like single star in the sky. So if you’re in a dark place today, I hope you are inspired to rise. Dont worry, eventually you will. Life is filled with seasons. There are seasons to to be happy and seasons to grieve, but sometimes you can lighten the process simply by picking yourself up.
Thank you all for following me and for your encouraging comments. ~Lady T
Lately ive been doing a lot of reflecting… I am both happy and troubled. The best way I can describe this feeling is a restless peace. Change is coming; I can feel it. I wanted things to change but now I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I feel more dead and more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life, but I would rather feel like this than drift into stagnant living. Whatever’s coming is coming, so I’m reaching out to grab it, to embrace it. This life is a gift and I’m excited for the future and all the wonderful opportunities I have to make something of it. For now all is silent… awaiting…
I recently had one of my out-of-no-where realizations. I never know how to say what’s on my mind in an eloquent fashion, so I’m just going to say it. I’m a traveler. What does that mean and how did I come to that conclusion?
Well first, I analyze things a lot. Secondly, something that has been constant in my life for almost 4 years recently changed. I’m not too shaken up, but it made me wonder. As I reflected and wondered why things happen the way they do, I noticed something; every time I get comfortable, im uprooted. As soon as I adjust to something, it changes.
Oddly, a lot of the people I know seem to lead fairly simple, predictable lives. You know, they live in the same house, have the same friends, graduated from valley middle school and went to valley high school. They seem to have a rarely interrupted routine and a sense of security I’ve never had. I used envy those people, but then I realized if my life was like that I would be bored as….zzz
Oh sorry, I almost fell asleep. As I was saying, if my life was predictable I would be bored. I also realized that change helps you grow. To walk, you must move from a crawling position to walking position. Sometimes life just changes your position, so you can learn something new. It’s a little awkward standing up at first, but once you got it, you got it. Then its time to run. Then its time to talk over the world… or something like that.
So maybe I’m a traveler at heart… that would explain a lot of things about me. It’s funny how I question things only to realize I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. If anyone can relate or has insight to share, go ahead. For now its all good, I’m just following the path as it unfolds in front of me.
I just logged in and this was on the top of my blog’s page. It inspired me so much, I had to share… Thanks